You are about to do something you’ve never done, and you’re probably more scared than you’ve ever been in your life. The next ten minutes will decide whether you acquire the tools you need to take your physique to the next level, leave empty handed, or end up in a jail cell. You are standing in a Mexican pharmacy attempting to purchase anabolic steroids you plan to bring home to America.
First off, it’s important not to stand out like a sore thumb. If you’re wearing your Optomix boots, spandex shorts, and string tank top, while carrying a water bottle and an I-pod along with your duffel bag, you will look like an American trying to smuggle steroids. If you’re wearing a Yankee’s cap, loose clothing, and carrying a map of Mexico to go along with your cheesy “tourist-y” clothing, you’re more likely to go undetected.
Purchase in small amounts. While Mexican pharmacies often stay in business due to American tourists, you will encounter the occasional pharmacy clerk who enjoys receiving a monthly bonus check from border agents by phoning in tips for an occasional customer buying a lot of product. The make and model of car, along with plate numbers, are all the border agents need to pull you over and send you to a Mexican prison for ten years. Park in an adjacent parking lot to the pharmacy, and take the long route to and from your car. Try to prevent those inside the pharmacy from seeing what you are driving. Be polite and inconspicuous. Don’t haggle on prices, or find a way to upset the clerk, giving him motivation to phone in a tip which could cost you your freedom.
The more you can look like a tourist, the better. If you’re driving a car with an Oregon license plate, it’s going to look awfully odd that you traveled hundreds of miles just to buy a blanket and some sunglasses. However, if you’re in a rental car from California, complete with map of Mexican hotspots, terrible sunglasses, and sunscreen on the nose, you’re going to bypass some suspicion. Veterinary clinics are preferable when purchasing products as well. Some of the most successful purchasers and dealer in America buy in bulk from veterinary clinics with great success.
Above all, be smart. If something doesn’t feel right, just buy a bottle of Tylenol and be on your way, returning in a week or two to another pharmacy. You can often tell when something doesn’t feel right, and you should follow your instinct. Purchase small, try and fit in, and you’ll be fine. Get greedy or obnoxious and you increase your exposure and risk.
